How to deal with the anxiety of working mum juggling responsibilities during the lockdown?

 

Are you having to work from home due to the lockdown and suffering anxiety of working mum juggling responsibilities?

The social distancing rules has forced many of us to switch the working environment from the office to the home office (or a kitchen/ living room/ bedroom). I too had to take my essential folders and start working from home. As per law, your employer should carry out the health and safety risk assessment but due to the short notice, this was not possible in many cases. So pretty much overnight, we had to change our usual place of working and adjust to this new way of daily life.

Everyone had different circumstances and many had enjoyed the work from home and found this being a much better and convenient way. They have saved time on the commute, claim to be more productive, sleep longer, save money on lunches, coffees, cost of the travel. So I believe the whole lockdown will work in favour of people who will now choose to do more of this kind of flexible working and will be able to do most of the work from the comfort of their own homes.

But there are some of us that did not necessary found it a better way, and I am thinking of all of the mummies out there who suddenly had to adjust to:

– their children being at home 24/7

– children needing schooling

– a house being messy all the time

– having to work full time whilst the house being noisy and being constantly disturbed

– juggling other responsibilities that running the house demands

So now you can see a slightly different picture being drowned.

And I cannot even imagine how would a single mum cope with it…

I was lucky that my hubby had very little work during the COVID- well not financially lucky, but at least he was helping with keeping the kids occupied whilst I was working.

After 2 weeks of lockdown, I have written the post of 2 weeks into the Lockdown so check out how the beginning had looked if you wish.

But now 9 weeks into the lockdown, things have changed slightly and over the time I did struggle a lot.

My work situation

This time of a year we normally have an audit being performed. And this was no different despite the lockdown this year. The difference is- this year it was done on a remote basis.

So at the testing stage, I had to pop into the office two times to pull all the documents and scan over to the auditors. Keeping the social distancing rules is not very easy in the office space, hence I was very aware of taking the risk. But I am a key worker, so still lucky enough to be able to work from home, as opposed to on the front line being exposed to the virus directly.

I also had several long calls with the auditors trying to go thought the queries and questions they had and explaining the procedures.

This was an extremely stressful time for me as at the end of the day, the audit is to ensure the accounts are accurately done and are showing a true and fair view of the company’s financials. And since I am running this department, all of the responsibility is on me. If something was not done in a proper way, I am responsible for it and my accounting “licence” can be taken from me in the worst-case scenario.

Also not having anyone more senior above me in my department means I have no one to fall onto when things get tough.

My anxiety of working mum juggling responsibilities

So here I was really stressed out and anxious unable to cope with it all and as I broke in tears I went to talk to my hubby. We’ve stood in the kitchen and I was telling him how I feel and what emotions I am going through, and he listened, calmed me down and wiped my tears. It was so helpful to be able to let it all out.

It did help tons to be able to talk to him and to see that he understands my struggles. He too was stressed out as due to the Covid19 he had very little work (he is self-employed) so was worried about our financial situation.

Since the lockdown was released a little mid-May, he started picking up some work and is out the house much more than before. The days he is home, I work in the office and the days he is out working, I stay at home working and looking after the kids.

Being on my own with 3 of them and working at the same time is even more challenging as now I have much more things to do other than work. I must manage to get the kids fed, and make sure they stay safe when playing in the garden. I do not spend as much time schooling my middle child as I should so he is losing out on the important education which makes me feel guilty.

The silver lining 

In June both of my older kids will be going back to school and I am very happy about it. Not only they will get back into the normal routine but also it will restore some order in our household. I will still carry on working from home on the days that hubby works but it will be different to handle one child as opposed to 3.

Since I have gone through this hard time and found certain coping mechanism, it’s only fair that I share it with you all in case you are too struggling juggling responsibilities during the lockdown.

So how to deal with the anxiety of working mum juggling responsibilities during the lockdown:

Please see my related article:

How to stay sane during a lockdown situation as a family

How to study during the lockdown without family assistance

 

1. Self Care

If you work from home, look after the kids and the house, I am pretty sure you have very little time for yourself to unwind.

You must acknowledge that you too need some break and take some time off. I am not talking about a fancy holiday (which for now no one can take) but at least an hour a week or so alone time where you focus just on yourself.

I have this covered in my 8 tips to self-care where I talk about the importance of looking after your mind and body:

• Eat well
• Sleep well
• Keep active
• Relax
• Be kind to yourself
• Socialise (not very practical now)
• Drink water
• Avoid substances use

2. Keep the routine going

If you all of a sudden waking up several hours later, go sleep much later, eat a lot, stay in your PJ’s all day and don’t bother brushing your teeth or hair it’s a sign you have gotten out of the routine.

It’s ok to shift a little in the time as we don’t have to wake up as early to rush out the house, but do not just ignore the importance of the routine. Especially if you have kids. They thrive in the routine and need it more than what you might appreciate. So keep the routine going and show them you have it all organised (even if you know it’s not really the case). Keeping the routine going is ever so important for your sanity too.

So start the day (even if an hour later o the “usual time”) with similar things and carry on as “normal” as possible in the given circumstances.

Let me take you through our schedule nowadays:

-We wake up a similar time (7;30ish)

-Cuddle up in bed for 10-15 minutes.

-Get ready for a day (brush teeth, dress up etc)

-Go downstairs for breakfast

-Kids get on with some school work whilst I sit down to get some work done in my living room where my desk is so I can keep an eye on them (little one is just playing around)

-Kids carry on playing until lunchtime

-I prepare lunch after 1 pm and we sit down together to eat

-I then carry on working

-Around 5 pm I finish off and start preparing dinner

-6 pm we sit to eat dinner, then I tidy up the kitchen

-We then go for a walk or sit down watch telly or get in the garden and play together.

-8 pm is bath time for the boys and getting them ready to bed (with a storytime)

-Shortly after 9 pm is my time to do whatever I want to do.

The hours are not set in stone but roughly this is how the days go and the weekends is where we relax a bit and I still work (not as much) on my blog.

This structure to the day really does help to ensure you can stay more organised and do everything you were supposed to do.

3. Take it easy

Don’t beat yourself if you don’t manage to complete all the tasks or if you feel like you are neglecting your kids (I feel like that most the time actually). As long as you feed them and keep an eye on them, they will feel your presence. And the house will not fall apart if you don’t keep it clean.

So just take it easy on yourself.

Things will get back to normality soon.

4. Cry if that helps you

The good old cry! If you feel sad, overwhelmed, frustrated, or just exhausted, crying is the safest way to let go of negative emotions. It has a catharsis effect.

However, if you find yourself crying all the time, it might be a sign of depression and there is a thin line between anxiety and depression so if you feel you might need help, reach out.

You might want to take the test first just to establish if you suffer from depression on the secure website here.

5. Take a deep breath

Taking deep breaths once we feel like you are losing control helps in many ways and it is the best coping mechanism to calm ourselves down. Thought deep breathing the oxygen provided to your brain and lungs will clear your minds and help you see clearer.

Sometimes by sitting at the desk long hours we do not breath properly, which deprives our brain of oxygen which in turn leads to cloudy mind and makes us more likely to snap, get stressed, depressed and so on.

So practice deep breathing a few time a day. I have an apple Watch which reminds me few times a day to do one minute of deep breathing, I love it and helps me to breath daily.

6. Talk to somebody who would understand

Pick up your phone and call your friend, your parent or whoever you trust and let them know how you feel. I talk to my husband in such times and it really does help. Talking through your problems helps to clear your mind and knowing someone understands is very comforting.

Many people that suffer from anxiety or depression do not know how to open up and talk to others about their problems and often end up locking themselves inside and accumulate negative feelings and emotions.

So try if you can talk about your emotions, it does help me tons.

7. Take a day off if you can

If this is an option, take a day off and just relax not doing anything special. Just take it easy, slow and enjoy some family time with no worries of work pressures. Sometimes we all have to just do nothing and get bored to let our minds to reset and relax.

I had taken one day off since the lockdown and enjoys spending some time with kids being silly and playing in the garden.

It did help me unwind and relax so I could get back to work the next day in a better spirit and mood.

 

Conclusion

I really hope you have found the above tips on how to deal with the Anxiety of working mum juggling responsibilities during the lockdown useful.

Remember these are very unprecedented times and will soon pass by and we will be back to normality and kids will go back to school and we can return to the office or flexible arrangements.

Are you also suffering from anxiety of working mum juggling the responsibilities during the lockdown?

Please let me know what your coping mechanism in this crisis in the comments below

And as always please share to all the lovely mums that are doing an amazing job every single day bringing their kids and keeping their families together.

 

Thank you