Do you feel like when you trying to do so many things at the same time, you end up not doing much!

Do you have the feeling of always being one step behind and not completing daily/weekly/monthly ToDo List (even if you don’t have it written down, but you just have it in your head)?

Do you struggle with time/ relationship/ social life? I am not going to even mention the financial struggles here.

Well… welcome to my world.

I feel like this most of the time.

That is partly because I have so many things going on at the moment that I think I just cannot quite handle it.

The truth is, being a parent requires many skills and takes up a lot of time. The skills can be learned, but time is the one that we are not able to influence.

So let me tell you what do I struggle with every day. Please bear in mind I work full time and have 3 kids so my struggles can be different to yours, but I just wanted to let it out as I feel a little down at the moment. One more thing- my entire household is getting affected by the weather and has colds at various stages and I too got it and this might be why I feel the way I do.

1. Keeping the house clean

I come from work and it seems like the house has not been cleaned for weeks! Toys everywhere, carpet messy with little food crumbles, glitter (from the Christmas Tree).

On my kitchen worktop in one side of the kitchen, there is always stuff lying around, kids backpacks, lunch boxes, some wrappers, drawing books, some delivery boxes. No matter how much I try to keep this tidied over the weekend, this seems to be a dumpling place for everyone’s stuff. Also, the sink gets quickly filled up with the dishes, and kids just wouldn’t put them in the dishwasher.

The bathroom too gets dirty despite my efforts to tidy it everyday after shower. The toothpaste, toothbrushes and little Lego pieces that kids keep bringing with them. We have a mirror and cupboard where they should be put, but in a rush, they just leave it around.

It almost seems like to stay on top of the house it would need everyday cleaning, and I just don’t have time or energy to do so much every day. As much as I do try, sometimes I just have no energy left

This brings me to the next struggle:

2. Lack of time

Working 9-5 leaves me with around 5 hours at home after I get there from work. Plus just over an hour in the morning (in which I mostly rush to get the kids ready for school/getting myself ready).

Weekends I have two full days, but, not to just chill, oh no! My list goes on and on:

By the way, this list is only on the weekend in which I have no guests coming over, or we don’t go anywhere, and the weather is bad outside. If the weather allows I do take the kids down to the park, and if not then we go to the cinema/ soft play or some birthday parties.

• preparing breakfast
• cleaning after breakfast
• cleaning downstairs
• setting up the washing
• preparing lunch
• cleaning after lunch
• cleaning upstairs
• hanging the washing
• doing homework with the middle son
• spending some time drawing with a little one
• preparing dinner
• cleaning after dinner
• doing some reading with the middle one
• preparing a bath for the boys and getting them ready to bed
• bedtime reading and lying down with little one until he falls asleep (he does not fall asleep alone)

Only then I have some time left to focus on either doing some workout or spending time on my blog.

But I already feel exhausted and sometimes all I want to do is to just sit down on the sofa and relax or have a nice hot bath.

3. Lack of sleep

I feel tired most of the days. Especially now that I and the kids are sick, we do not sleep very well. Kids cough, wake up at night with dry mouth wanting to drink, wee or they have a bad dream. Funny enough they don’t wake daddy up, they need ME! I wake up in the morning not feeling like getting up as I would have maybe 5-6 of actually proper sleep. I feel sleepy throughout the day and the coffees don’t help either.

I don’t always feel so energy less but I feel like this at the moment and this must be a temporary thing.

But I do feel like I should have at least one hour more of a good quality sleep every night as my kids tend to wake me up at night regularly.

Do you too promise yourself that you gonna go sleep early today- yet you struggle to achieve this? Yes? Me too!

4. Nurturing the relationship with my husband.

Before we had kids we used to go out watch movies to the cinema – now we watch movies at home (once a month if not less but we try to make this time as we both love movies). It’s not quite the same experience but at least it’s free.

We also used to go out clubbing, bars, meet friends, go to nice restaurants, go on holidays- just me and him!

All this is not possible now as we do not have any help from anyone (familywise) that could stay with the kids. I have had a Christmas party a few weeks ago where I have asked my friend to babysit the kids and she agreed. This was kind of a special occasion where it was all prepaid by work and I just wanted to show up. Despite its being a very short party we did manage to have a good time. My friend lives quite far away and she has a daughter (who is my daughter’s friend too) so I do feel bad asking for any other occasion.

Other than that we hardly ever meet friends either as my husband always work on the weekend and we do not have days off together other than pre-booked holidays time.

Going on holiday is also not the same anymore and although it’s nice that we are now a family and spend time together, this is not the time that I and my husband can enjoy just us.

Being parents had got us closer together but I do feel like we could do with some time out for just us two.

5. Socializing

I have lost many friends (I guess they were not true friends after all) once becoming a parent. Partly this was due to a new role as a parent has changed my priorities. I couldn’t go out anymore, and they were still not parents themselves so I guess they were on a different page now.

I have now a very small circle of friends that I meet from time to time. But as my husband works weekends (when I am off) I always have my kids with me so it’s not quite socializing the same way it used to be.

We do try to meet outside without the kids but there is always something popping up and we end up cancelling/ postponing the meeting.

I think the last time I have had a Girls Night Out with my girlfriends was about a year and a half ago! I did meet briefly one other friend after this for a meal but it was a very short thing.

Also perhaps in my case being a foreigner and growing up in Poland up until I was nearly 20 means I have left all of my friends behind. I was 23 when I got married and 24 when I got my first child. I only had 3 years to build new friendships in a foreign country. I think this was not enough time to build strong friendships. I now have one friend from Poland that came to live in the UK and very few others that I met here that stuck with me since. But I believe in quality over quantity and I value the ones I do have.

6. What should I cook?

This must be my no 1 struggle so not sure why I am putting this as last, but I guess it’s just how I wanted to show how important the struggles are and cooking doesn’t seem to be that important.

I do try to plan for a few days ahead, but sometimes I get sidetracked and just don’t have enough time to sit down and have a good think about it. My husband had gone vegetarian about half a year ago.

Despite insisted we (me and the kids) carry on eating as normal, I do want him to have a meal ready when he’s back from work so I make sure most of the meals are plant-based. Beside plant-based diet is not unhealthy so I was happy to just switch. I do still cook fish which he agrees to eat and at least once a fortnight I make some meat-based food for me and the kids to top up on the missing nutrients.

I like cooking, and I am quite good at it. I like exploring new recipes and trying out new things in the kitchen. Being Polish, married to Indian, leaving in the UK gives us plenty to choose from cuisine wise. However, I don’t want to just cook any food. It has to be healthy and tasty too so the kids will eat it.

But still I sometimes just cannot come up with ideas on what to cook. This is especially the case when we are running out of ingredients and I have not planned in advance or for enough days of cooking.

We do occasionally get a takeaway or go out together for a meal (like once every 2/3 months) but we prefer homemade food. Not only it is cheaper but also we know what ingredients we have put in the food, hence we opt out for home-cooked food.

 

That’s it from me moaning about my life! Plenty there to be fair, but I had to let it out.

I am sure I am not alone here so if you want to what your biggest struggles go ahead and shout out what bothers you!

Thanks for reading