10 ways in which motherhood changes you as a woman?
If only I knew before having kids the ways in which motherhood changes you as a woman I would never believe!
Before having kids I was carefree, outgoing, less responsible and most of all I only had myself to worry about and look after.
Being a mother has changed me mentally and physically in so many ways! I wanted to give you the heads up if you are thinking of having kids, that the journey you are about to embark on will be a lifechanging one.
Motherhood presents you with a lot of challenges for sure and it is not always plain sailing (actually it never is a plain sailing) but these challenges will shape you as a woman and make you into a better version of yourself.
I have 3 children (11, 6 and 3) and I have had many life lessons along the way and learned so much about myself and enjoyed this journey greatly.
Over the last 12 years (counting from the time I have got pregnant with my first child) there were many situations where I found myself struggling. But those challenges and the way I have overcome them had made me stronger.
Heard of a say:
What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger?
Exactly!
I wish I had known then what I know now, hence I really hope after reading this you will come out assured that it is all going to be OK! You will manage! You will cope! And you will always find a solution to every problem you are facing! As life will throw at you some s..t to deal with. It always does! Nobody goes through life without struggles.
Anyway, enough of that!
I wanted to talk to you about 10 ways in which motherhood changes you as a woman based on my own experiences:
1. Love you feel
The minute you fall pregnant, the love that you feel to this little bean in your tummy is indescribable.
Yup, it all starts well before the baby is even born, and this is why so many women suffer so much when they go through a miscarriage. I have had such an experience and it is a very heart-breaking to lose a baby, even if it’s not even been born and you might not even be showing yet.
If you wanted to read more about my story I talk about it in my post:
Falling pregnant with PCOS- How did I manage to have 3 kids despite PCOS?
The love for your child is so great that you are ready to give your life for it!
And I never felt like I could give my life for anyone else before I had kids.
The love is unconditional.
And yes they do drive me crazy and make me mad, yet I love them more than anyone else in the whole world.
2. Emotional roller coaster
Again, from the time you fall pregnant the hormones are all over the place and cause you to go through all sorts of emotions.
Angry, happy, sad, excited, worried, thrilled, depressed, you name it, you will get it, sometimes in the exact order all in just one day!
https://www.healthline.com/health/pregnancy/bodily-changes-during
And it does not just end on the pregnancy, although this is when it most affects your mind and body. The minute you hold the baby in your arms, the different hormones step in and make you forget the excruciating pain you would just go through so that you are likely to do it to yourself again!
I say:
If it were not for those hormones’, humans would die out a long time ago!
As soon as you are holing this tinny person in your arms, you might think it would make you the happiest person in the world… well, not exactly…
The truth is, looking after a baby is a very difficult job. And therefore, many mums (not only first-time mums) suffer from postnatal depression.
This can be developed in a first year after having a baby and it might be difficult to tell if a person is suffering from it as it can develop gradually. Even the person suffering from depression might not realise this. But there is help and if you are interested in it or know someone might suffer from it, here is the NHS link to the information on where to get help. Remember there is help there so please reach out!
However, there are also those happy hormones and it is not all sadness and madness.
Motherhood is many happy moments, laughter, and joy overall. Watching a child grow, reaching their milestones and having cuddles with them truly is a blessing to go through.
Children are the most precious gifts we get from life and fills our heart with warmth and joy.
3. Instinct
Once again… from the time you are pregnant instinctively, you would do anything to protect the little baby inside you.
The instinct is so strong that would make your senses go mad too!
Do you know the reason why pregnant women get oversensitive to smells? Well, there are many theories about it, but one claims it is because the instinct kicks in and it helps you detect dangerous smells in case you are near dangerous/ toxic smells.
I felt so sensitive, I did not allow my husband to put on any fragrances, never mind using one myself. It made me instantly sick and I had to run away from it.
Also, you must have seen women holding their tummy when pregnant and this is also because they want to protect their child.
Once the child is born, you use car seats, child safe-proof the house, keep them away from danger, try to prevent them from falls and all sorts of things to keep them away from all evil as your instinct constantly makes you protect your little human.
4. Organisation skills
No matter how disorganised as a person you are “pre-baby”, once you become a mummy, you slowly learn the ways to keep things more organised. Why? As life will demand this of you.
Every mum has some hacks to keep things organised and if you really struggle, or if you are just one of those really disorganised people, don’t you worry, I have some tips for you…
Learn from other mums…
Do you think that they knew it all from the start? No way Jose…
They too learned from others. And fair enough, there are some mums that are like super organised and they have always been like this – some people are just well organised. But most of us ordinary people are not. That is when we learn from others.
And if you like me are one of those ordinary people, I can recommend you read the blogs of the super organised mum’s out there that help other mums:
Mummy of Four: Rhi has 4 children and she is Welsh working from home mum (WFHM) and she has all the tips and tricks to help you get organised.
We Made This Life: Ali is yet another Mum of Four from Wales and she has plenty of tips on parenting so you can check out her blog.
Midwife and Life: Jenny is a mummy of 3, a midwife and a blogger with plenty on her plate so she has many tips and parenting advice for you on her page.
The Mummy Bubble: Vicky- a mummy of two has a beautiful website full of tips on parenting and many other topics so I recommend you check it out.
There are many more mummy’s blogs (mine including) so if ever in doubt or have questions I am sure one of us mummy bloggers have the answers for you. If not, fire the questions to me and I will happily answer them for you.
5. Multitasking skills
I often did my make up while breastfeeding my baby, or brush my daughter’s hair while I brushed my teeth… examples like this are part of my day to day life as having to multitask is something we mums must master.
I am not saying I could not multitask before having kids, but I had a choice of just doing one thing at the time, as I had that time. Now having 3 kids, time is such a precious commodity that I must try to do as much as I can, often all at the same time.
We have an advantage over men here as it has been scientifically proven that women are better at multitasking than men.
6. Patience
Being a mum is a constant waiting game and with this, we naturally develop more patience.
Beginning with the pregnancy, we get to wait 9 months and count down the 40 weeks before we get to meet the baby. Then there is a constant waiting game with everything… Baby feeding, a baby learning to walk, to talk, to ride a cycle and those things usually take ages before the child accomplishes its tasks. But mummy always waits patiently encouraging child along the way and prising for every little success.
So becoming a mum brings a lot of patience and even the most hot-headed women become more serene.
7. Motivation to become the best version of yourself
Did you know that children learn by example?
This is why I try to be the best version of myself in the hope that I will build a strong foundation so that my children will follow in my footsteps.
I am only a human however and do make mistakes, but this is also ok to realise and show to children that it is OK to make mistakes, so long as you admit to it and learn from it.
Related post:
30 Common Parenting Mistakes and how to avoid them.
I have had a motivation to complete studies and graduated from Uni with a 1st class degree when I had my first child. Then later I completed my ACCA qualification witch 3 children and a full-time job. Having children is what was keeping me motivated. The ability to provide them with a better future and more comfortable living kept me motivated. Also, I wanted them to be proud of mummy and have an example of their parent getting a higher education.
Possibly if it was not for them, I would never be writing to you here either…
8. Responsibility
With a baby comes responsibility and becoming a mum will force you to “grow up”. No matter how old you are the minute you become a mum, you will have to take on a whole lot of new responsibilities that you never even thought you would have to take on.
First and for most, you are taking the responsibility for a child’s safety and wellbeing. This is a very direct parental responsibility but there will be many more indirect ones such as the responsibility to ensure your child gets the education, medical care and even discipline. Yup! You must make sure you discipline your child so that it grows up to be a kind, respectful and a good citizen with the best values you can possibly imprint in them.
It is also your responsibility to do your best as a parent and this is not an easy task. You will get frustrated, angry, or mad many times throughout your parenting career and you need to ensure you control your emotions and deal with a difficult and challenging situation as the best possible way.
Not many people know this, but children get deeply affected by any traumas that they go through their young life and in many cases, the Adverse Childhood Experiences is responsible for adult’s behaviour.
Please watch below video. It did make me realise how my childhood shaped me as an adult:
Motherhood changes you as a woman and you will be responsible for this little human until they turn into an adult. It is a pretty long-term commitment!
9. The bond
The bond you build with a baby is so special that fills your heart with happiness. You will get attached to this little person as soon as you find out you are expecting, and this will be a very mutual thing (at least at the early years of your child’s life). You will be the whole world to your baby.
No matter how bad of a singer you are, your lullabies would sound the best in your child’s ears.
No matter how terrible of a cook you might be, your child will always find it the tastiest.
No matter how many little mistakes you make, your child will forgive and forget them.
This attachment and unconditional love is a pretty powerful tool and makes us mum do whatever it takes to protect and shield our babies.
10. The purpose
I had a strong sense of needing to have a baby as I felt my purpose of existence on this planet is to bring child/ren to this world. The ultimate purpose of human beings is to reproduce and hence once we achieve this, it is normal to feel a sense of achievement.
Since I had my children, I cannot help to feel like my job is done here. I have brought children onto this world and I can die knowing I have had contributed to the human existence and left my legacy behind.
Conclusion
Being a mother is incredibly hard work and a very rewarding one and it will change you in many ways. I am very proud and happy to be able to mother my little munchkins no matter how mad they make me. I love them unconditionally and every day I try to improve myself to be the best version of myself so that they have a role model to follow.
I would like to pay the tribute to my mother and to all of the mums out there for doing an amazing job raising their children tirelessly every single day.
I hope you have enjoyed my post on ways in which motherhood changes you as a woman.
Please let me know how motherhood has changed you as a woman.
Or if you are considering having children, are you prepared for those changes?
Thank you so much for reading
